Wednesday, April 30, 2008

WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

What you are about to read was witnessed this morning by 2 cockroaches in the apartment of a Ranger fan…on his last wits!

*******

Tony: (Standing on soap box - literally) Ok, if there is anyone in this room who doesn’t think we can come back and win this series, leave the room now!!!

Roach 1: Oh man, is he starting with that Al Arbour stuff again?

Roach 2: Wilbur just leave him alone. What good will it do?

Roach 1: Dude, it’s annoying. Why can’t he just admit it? (shouting) It’s over Tony!!

Roach 2: *Sigh* Just let him be, will ya?

Tony: Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Roach 1: Germans?

Roach 2: Forget it, he's rolling.

Roach 1: (shouting) DUDE, IT’S OVER!!!

Roach 2: Will you stop? He’s gonna hear you!

Roach 1: He’s been carrying on like this all night!

Tony: NOTHING IS OVER!!! NOTHING!!

Roach 2: Haha…Great job, now he thinks he’s Rambo!

Tony: Rambo…is a p**sy!! And great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what we’ll have here, tomorrow, boys. That's what we've earned here tomorrow.

Roach 1: What have you earned?!?!

Tony: One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine.

Roach 1: They’d probably win the 10th one too!

Tony: But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can!

Roach 1: Says who??

Tony: Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This
is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Penguins have. Screw 'em! This is your time! Now go out there and take it!

Roach 1: Dude, he is losing it.

Roach 2: Shhh…just let him carry on, it’s making him feel better

Tony: (reading the paper) Wait…what’s this? Sean Avery, in the hospital? A heart attack???

Roach 1: Where is he getting this stuff from?

Roach 2: No, no. I heard about this. I think it’s actually true.

Tony: (murmuring) Wait his spleen is ruptured too? And lacerated? Holy crap!

Roach 1: You were saying?

Roach 2: Well…

Tony: Oh no! (getting out of chair) He’s in a coma?!?!

Roach 1: Oh boy, here it comes…

Tony: That does it!!

Roach 2: Oh, no…you don’t mean?

Tony: We can’t lose now!!

Roach 1: (cringing) Uh huh…

Tony: DON'T STOP!! BE-LIEVING! HOLD ON TO THAT FEEL-LEY-YEN! STREET LIGHTS!
PEOPLE-OH-OH-OHHHH!!!"

Roach 2: Haha…Wow. That is actually pretty funny!

Roach 1: Haha…yeah, I know. And he’s even on his knees playing the air guitar!

Tony: I WON’T BACK DOWWWWWN-EE-YEAH!!! THERE AIN’T NO EASY WAY OUT!!!
(Gets up, runs toward the door)

Roach 1: Well, at least he didn’t quote that bald headed dude again…

Tony: WE’LL WIN TONIGHT!!

Roach 2: Haha…you spoke to soon…

Tony: Rangers in 7!!

Roach 1: Shh…here comes the big finish..

Tony: We gotta win that game tonight man. We gotta get even with those Pens! Let's do it for Avery, man! (opens door)

Roach 2: lol…where is he going?

Roach 1: Haha…does it really even matter at this point?

Tony: We'll do it for Avery!!!

Shuts door

Roach 1: Ok, he’s gone. Let’s hit the fridge. I’m hungry.

Roach 2: Hey, just stay away from those meatballs.

Roach 1: Why? I wanted one!

Roach 2: Well the bathroom is on the other side of the apartment, and I couldn’t hold it!

Monday, April 28, 2008

You can STILL go scratch, Camel Lips!!!

And if you think for one moment, that I am taking it back, THINK AGAIN!!!

I don’t care if we’re down 2-0 in the series.

I don’t care if it makes me look stubborn, selfish or childish.

I don’t care!

Sidney Patrick Crosby, you can take your whining, your complaining, your diving and all your embellishing and STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE!!!

SO WADDYA THINK OF THAT???

TTTHHHHPPPPTTT!!!!

Haha...alright, now that I’ve got your attention, relax. I’m not this childish.

Well...maybe I am, but not over something like this! I was actually more upset about Friday’s loss then yesterday. After the offensive barrage on Friday, I expected yesterday to be a lock it down, don’t give an inch type game. But I’ll tell you what I didn’t expect. I didn’t expect to be down 2-0 in this series. My gut feeling was that they would lose on Friday, but bounce back yesterday. Now granted, the series is a long way from being over, and they did bounce back against Buffalo last year, so I’m optimistic. But they need to get it together. They need to play the defensive game they played yesterday, and they need to get in front of Fleury and rattle him. They really did not test him at all at even strength yesterday. And the power play was absolutely pathetic, going 0-6. They’re now a “blistering” 1-9 in the series! But hey, you saw the game. So it’s not like I’m telling you something you didn’t already know!!

And while we’re on the subject, can someone explain to me what the heck Sean Avery is doing? Going after Fleury after the game? Hey Sean, here’s a little tip: you’re supposed to piss people off DURING the game, not after it!! Idiot...

Sorry, I know this not a great blog today. Forgive me, ok? It’s nasty out, were down 2-0, I’m having big time writers block and I just really want a zamboni to fall on Crosby right now!!

Alright, maybe I am this childish...

Anyway, here’s your links, that’s about the best you’re gonna get from me today folks. The News, The Post, NHL.com, and Rangers.com

Ok, so I’m in this pool at work, and I picked Montreal to win it all. But obviously if the Rangers we’re to advance, I would want them to face Philly, being that they’re the weaker opponent, so I have been rooting for them. Well, I’ll tell you this much: The Rangers don’t win tomorrow, I’m switching allegiances and pulling for the Habs. Cause, when you boil down to it, I’m all about the money. Plus I feel dirty rooting for Philthy anyway. BLEH!!

Ok, ok. You torture is over, I'm ending this!!

But not before I insult Camel Lips one more time!!

Hey Cindy, how can the referees even move out there with you so far up their rear ends???

Ok, I’m out. Later people!!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

UGH!!! Are you kidding me???

Ok, so this NOT going to be a happy blog from me this morning. I just thought I should warn you all right now.

Start off with the fact that I was unable to watch the game last night cause I had to take care of some personal things, throw in that I had to go straight from work to do it, and then finish it off with not getting home until 11:30 last night, and was completely exhausted. That's # 1.

# 2, I had my walkman with me, so I was able to listen, but the battery was on it's last life and I kept having to shut it off, and give it a little bit before I could listen to it again. But I was getting text updates, heard they were up, 1-0, then 2-0, then 3-0. So I'm thinking, "Great, 3-0 lead. This is going better then I thought it would!".

AND THEN MONTREAL HAPPENED!!!

ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

Blowing a 3-0 lead in the playoffs for the first time since 1967, the Rangers dropped Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals, 5-4 to the Penguins at the Igloo last night. Sidney Crosby's one timer deflected in off of Evgeni Malkin's knee with 1:41 remaining in the 3rd period, after a questionable interference call on Martin Straka, awarded the Pens a power play.

I've only seen the highlights people, so I can't really talk that intelligently on the game. But from what I could gather, from highlights, articles and from Tom Renney's press conference, the Rangers didn't play a good game last night. The defense was attrocious. They turned the puck over in all 3 zones, and once Pittsburgh got some life, the lead disappeared, and disappeared quickly. 2 goals in 14 seconds cut it to 3-2. Two more in 20 seconds gave the Pens a 4-3 lead. Are you kidding me? How do you do that? How? Someone explain that to me, please.

And then you wanna talk about penalties? Giving Pittsbugh 6 power plays? Just completely unacceptable. Now granted, Straka's call was, from what I could see, complete garbage, and granted the little whiner, got away with another diving call. And a lot of the goals did take funny bounces (one actually went in, IN BETWEEN Gomez' skate blade - is that even possible???). But does any of this really matter people? The bottom line, when you have a 3-0 lead, YOU DO NOT ALLOW THE OPPOSING TEAM BACK INTO THE GAME!!! I don't care what you have to do, YOU JUST DO IT!! And you don't give the other team life either by rubbing it in there faces, which from what I heard, is what Sean Avery might have done after he scored last night. Are ya kidding me? Knock that crap off Sean. You've had a great postseason, you're getting plenty of publicity this year, and if continue to play well, you'll get an extension. But for the love of humanity, pick and choose your spots!!

Alright, this has basically just been one long complaint from me, and I'm sure you all want me to just shut up and give you the links, so here they are. The News, the Post, NHL.com, and Rangers.com

So, there you have it folks. They sucked last night. And that needs to change. Everything I talked about in my playoff preview the other day, about what the Rangers could not do if they expect to have a shot in this series, they did. And if they continue to do it, this series will be over very quickly. So, they better take a good long look at themselves in the mirror today and come out prepared to do everything humanly possible to win Game 2 tomorrow. I know it's only Game 1, and I should not be panicking, but I am. Sorry.

On a non related note, did you all hear about the Montreal-Philly series? Apparently, a Montreal fan poured beer all over Mike Richards either during or after the game the other night. Nice job Habs fans. Good to see you're starting to act more and more like Philly fans with each passing moment. Burning cars after winning the opening round, pouring beer on an opposing player. What's gonna happen if you win the Cup this year? You gonna burn the city to the ground? Grow up you losers. You represent a legendary NHL city. I have no problem with passion, but show some freaking class. Idiots.

Anyway, I'll probably be back on Monday with a recap of Sunday's game. Hopefully, it will be more positive then this.

In the meantime, enjoy the other series everyone. GO BLUE!!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

BRING IT ON CAMEL LIPS!!!

Ok so it’s the Blueshirts vs. the Fat Birds.

The most hated player in the NHL, against the biggest whiner in the NHL.

The NHL’s flagship franchise (that should have the you-know-what promoted out of them) against Bettman’s ultimate wet dream franchise that he would love to have win the Cup...so he can promote the you-know-what out of them!!

Get the point people?

Of course you do. I’m a biased Ranger fan who thinks the NHL wastes too much time catering to and promoting this whiny, little baby. This so-called “next one”, who is on a small market team, when he should be on the NHL’s biggest stage so that the sun could rise and shine around the Blueshirts of Broadway! That about right people?

In all honesty, I don’t feel that way at all. I just wanted to get you all to read the article, so I decided insulting Sidney Crosby and painting myself as a stereo typical Ranger fan would hook you all in. SUCKERS!!!!

Ok, so now that you’re already into the article, let’s talk about the series.

This will be a tough one for the Boys in Blue. The Penguins have loads of firepower, in the likes of Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Marian Hossa and even former Blueshirt, Petr Sykora, and also Ryan Malone. They also have an elite puck moving defenseman in Sergei Gonchar, and have plenty of size and grit in players such as Hal Gill, Brooks Orpik and Ryan Whitney. Plus, they have their own pest in Jarrko Ruutu.

The Rangers, meanwhile, have a lot of talented young players, and indeed, Brandon Dubinsky, Nigel Dawes, Ryan Callahan and Marc Staal are all starting to come into their own, but they cannot even come close to matching the offensive abilities of the Pens young guns. That being said, the youth, along with a nice mix of experienced veterans such as Brendan Shanahan, Jaromir Jagr, Martin Straka, and of course Mr. Clutch, Chris Drury and Scott Gomez will be key. Defensively, the Rangers can turn into the mid-90’s Devils if they have to, with effective blueliners such as Dan Girardi, and Fedor Tyutin. Plus, Michael Rosival, while not the “disher” that Gonchar is, can be effective on the power play.

Bottom line, the Rangers can score. But if they try to go toe to toe with the Pens, they will lose and this series will be over quickly. No, if they are going to win this series, they are going to do it by outworking, outsmarting and basically suffocating the Penguins. We all know that defense and goaltending is what wins in the playoffs. And with a 3rd straight Venzina trophy nomination, Henrik Lunqvist has the edge over Marc-Andre Fluery and Ty Conklin, as one of the best netminders in the game.

Also, keep in mind that the Rangers are fueled predominantly by an agitator whose presence was certainly felt throughout the series against the Devils, and whose presence needs to be felt in this series as well, in order for the Blueshirts to succeed. The stats do not lie, and say what you want about Sean Avery. When he is in this line up, the Rangers win, win and win some more. It will be very interesting to see if he can get under the skin of Crosby, or if the refs will penalize him for accidentally sneezing on diaper boy. And it will be even more interesting to see if Jarrko Ruutu will be able to play the role of agitator as well as our local fashion expert (interning at Vogue Sean??)!

Prediction:
Hahaha...yeah right. I’m wimping out on this one. I’ve told you. I have had a very specific and very effective superstitious routine that has worked all year, so you’re getting nothing from me other then it is going 6 games minimum, and who ever comes out of this series I think is coming out of the East.