What you are about to read was witnessed this morning by 2 cockroaches in the apartment of a Ranger fan…on his last wits!
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Tony: (Standing on soap box - literally) Ok, if there is anyone in this room who doesn’t think we can come back and win this series, leave the room now!!!
Roach 1: Oh man, is he starting with that Al Arbour stuff again?
Roach 2: Wilbur just leave him alone. What good will it do?
Roach 1: Dude, it’s annoying. Why can’t he just admit it? (shouting) It’s over Tony!!
Roach 2: *Sigh* Just let him be, will ya?
Tony: Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Roach 1: Germans?
Roach 2: Forget it, he's rolling.
Roach 1: (shouting) DUDE, IT’S OVER!!!
Roach 2: Will you stop? He’s gonna hear you!
Roach 1: He’s been carrying on like this all night!
Tony: NOTHING IS OVER!!! NOTHING!!
Roach 2: Haha…Great job, now he thinks he’s Rambo!
Tony: Rambo…is a p**sy!! And great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what we’ll have here, tomorrow, boys. That's what we've earned here tomorrow.
Roach 1: What have you earned?!?!
Tony: One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine.
Roach 1: They’d probably win the 10th one too!
Tony: But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can!
Roach 1: Says who??
Tony: Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This
is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Penguins have. Screw 'em! This is your time! Now go out there and take it!
Roach 1: Dude, he is losing it.
Roach 2: Shhh…just let him carry on, it’s making him feel better
Tony: (reading the paper) Wait…what’s this? Sean Avery, in the hospital? A heart attack???
Roach 1: Where is he getting this stuff from?
Roach 2: No, no. I heard about this. I think it’s actually true.
Tony: (murmuring) Wait his spleen is ruptured too? And lacerated? Holy crap!
Roach 1: You were saying?
Roach 2: Well…
Tony: Oh no! (getting out of chair) He’s in a coma?!?!
Roach 1: Oh boy, here it comes…
Tony: That does it!!
Roach 2: Oh, no…you don’t mean?
Tony: We can’t lose now!!
Roach 1: (cringing) Uh huh…
Tony: DON'T STOP!! BE-LIEVING! HOLD ON TO THAT FEEL-LEY-YEN! STREET LIGHTS!
PEOPLE-OH-OH-OHHHH!!!"
Roach 2: Haha…Wow. That is actually pretty funny!
Roach 1: Haha…yeah, I know. And he’s even on his knees playing the air guitar!
Tony: I WON’T BACK DOWWWWWN-EE-YEAH!!! THERE AIN’T NO EASY WAY OUT!!!
(Gets up, runs toward the door)
Roach 1: Well, at least he didn’t quote that bald headed dude again…
Tony: WE’LL WIN TONIGHT!!
Roach 2: Haha…you spoke to soon…
Tony: Rangers in 7!!
Roach 1: Shh…here comes the big finish..
Tony: We gotta win that game tonight man. We gotta get even with those Pens! Let's do it for Avery, man! (opens door)
Roach 2: lol…where is he going?
Roach 1: Haha…does it really even matter at this point?
Tony: We'll do it for Avery!!!
Shuts door
Roach 1: Ok, he’s gone. Let’s hit the fridge. I’m hungry.
Roach 2: Hey, just stay away from those meatballs.
Roach 1: Why? I wanted one!
Roach 2: Well the bathroom is on the other side of the apartment, and I couldn’t hold it!
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